I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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