I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
