If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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