I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
