A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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