Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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