there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
