so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
