If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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