tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
