Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
