I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
