I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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