PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
