I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
