therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
