You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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