Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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