Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
