Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
