it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
