so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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