i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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