we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
