yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
