you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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