Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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