I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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