is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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