Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
