the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
