Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
