she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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