I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
