You're so nebulous sometimes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
