Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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