Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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