How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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