STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
