Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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