I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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