Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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