I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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