she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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