I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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