Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
