Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
