do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
