Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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