Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Damn victory sex feels great
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
