I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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