I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
